Memories of those days

I was reading the emails i had written to halil .. most of them in printed form...not all emails...but quite a lot though...

Memories came flooding back...I laughed with the teasing there was, I felt troubled with the bad things there were...There were soooo many things I had forgotten...so many things I had written, so many troubled times I had gone thru just to make it work...oppositions from the family etc..etc...the fights..uncertainty of the future...uncertainty of the relationship...things only a crazy person like me would endure...only because I believed in this love (still do).... Only because when I prayed the istikharah prayer.....I got the sign from Allah that he is the one for me. Alhamdulillah thru perseverence, my family relented in the end...not that they didnt try their best to not let this relationship be....even till on the day of my akad day..that night before the majlis bersanding...they tried.. .....Yes, they did...I do not blame them. They love me. They only wanted the best for me.And I do realize that in those times, my stubbornness to marry a guy I had not known very well had hurt their feelings...i do apologize for that..... it was not my intention to be selfish..I had to do what I think was right...for myself... I got married...Alhamdulillah..happy with whatever i have..and here i am now...sharing my thoughts with you....sharing what i see in my life from my point of view..

This was the poem i wrote to him when everything was so bleak..so sad...so uncertain..so much to a breaking point....It is not a good poem i know...i will never be a good poet...but it was written from the heart...And it goes like this...



You said i bewitched you
Guess who's bewitching who now, huh?

Ask the oceans
Ask the waves of the thousand seas
Ask that thousand stars twinkling in the night
They will say...

YES!
It's you!!
The worst of the Batmans
And smiling... I know it's true
I LOVE YOU my sweet luv
Love you very very much

SENi COK SEVİYORUM
AKU MENYINTAIMU
Are only words in my mouth
But they could not describe
What is in my heart
And how much you really mean to me

I LOVE YOU
3 simple words that mean so much more

Fate may not agree to our dreams
Fate may choose to be kind in a hurtful way
But as long as I live
Dont you ever think I dont love you
Coz I do...
More than words can say

Cry not my luv
Your tears are mine
Only you are not
But I accept this fate
So should you...

I LOVE YOU..always...

For those of you in love, for those of u who think u have found the guy of ur dream..To follow ur heart is of the norm but if possible...do it with the blessings of Allah as i did when i performed the istikharah prayer..try it and dont be afraid of the sign u will get....if it is a *no* u get...dont continue with this relationship.....just remember..Allah knows best..