Sunday, September 24, 2006

Hatice's first Day of School

One girl all ready with a nervous heartOne brother feeling sad knowing that he will be left behind at home while the elder sister is at school
A father in front of the school compound holding his sweetheart's hand with a heavy heart

One mom in front of the school door entrance with an even heavier heartThe pre school entrance
Hatice's personal locker to put her stuffs in

Hatice's another locker to put in sport shoesHatice's class name
(arılar sınıfı)
Hatice's classroomHatice's classmates while doing one of the class's activities

a mini size cute Ala Franga Toilet
Cute washing basins

n these r some of the pictures i had snapped as a remembrance of hatice's first day at school...

I am thankful for the voices of concern as to *kemana menghilangnya simah*.. we r all fine Alhamdulillah...glad to know that i am missed heheheh...all the same..i apologize 4 the worries i had caused..we were back at home on thursday night but there were n r so many things to do that i just simply fail to indulge myself in the world of blogging..actively...and one reason is this........

The moment she heard that we would be sending her to school on friday, her mind started to race into millions of thoughts. She started to sp
eculate on what she would be her anaokulu (pre school) learning would be like...the place..the new friends.. her teacher..etc..etc.. She expressed thousands (ok ..ok..maybe i am exaggertating here) of her own conclusions of her future studies...inside..she waited for the day...our journey home from our holiday place in edremit meant the more nervous hatice became...the nearer we were towards istanbul..she knew that a new era of her life would soon start... very soon...and here come friday..

While we were busy splashing ourselves in the deep sea..or taking a 10 minutes peep at the turkish hamam ..or playing in the warm pool water of edremit..a letter was sent by hatice's future pre school class teacher to us..(adressed to baba..passed over to halim n finally delivered to us after we got back home from our holiday)..The letter goes like this...

A hello to a sweet child of my class.
I am very eagerly waiting to meet u before the opening of the school. My dearest student, though i know not the color of ur eyes, of ur hair; but i believe that u r a sweet n an intelligent child.
Before the school starts, I am thinking of wonderful activities that i can do with u...What shall we do together....we will play different types of games, sing beautiful songs together, do interesting activities together and together, we will explore all the beautiful things ...
My arms r open wide for u and i am waiting to explore all the best of things with u

Your teacher
Nilgün Gülen

Well..actually that is a call out letter for parents n child meeting for the pre school students before the formal school opening.. of course we did not attend it since we were at that time busy splashing ourselves at the beach n warm pool..such a sweet letter isnt it?
And today...a friday...we decided to send hatice to school only for a few a pre introduction..
She woke up quite late this morning...i dont blame her..the journey from edremit was indeed tiring.. And her first words were..*anne! geç kaldım* (Anne, i am late already). I gave her a short bath, let her have a choice of what she would be wearing, braided her hair, gave her her breakfast...n we waited....lunch came...n after the friday prayer, as a family we headed to her school. If i could record the beating of her heart, i am confident it had beaten so fast n so loud that u would have pain in ur ears from the sound n noise.....she was busy speculating about what was to come at school..she practically had driven me crazy with her speculations n logics (see mona.. hatice is as good in driving people nuts with her logics as i do hahahahahahaha).... And while having lunch, when halil reminded her never to talk or go anywhere else with a stranger, she practically cried.
Yup..she was that nervous....poor nervous haticem..
We reached her school. Met her class teacher at the reception hall n she was whisked away into her classroom. They were having english class at that time (she said the english lesson was very easy :0))....she did not cry..Baddin was sad naturally. He kept asking me to go n visit her *abla* (sister) in her classroom..Up to that point..hatice n baddin most of the times were always together..they were very rarely separated.. Now he has to get used to it..he didnt cry or anything..but u can see that he felt lost without his abla by his side..something he needed to get used to...
And as for hatice, i think going to school is something she needs to do. She has been getting bored n restless. I sensed this urge in her for be her own self without the presence of her anne, baba n baddin. All her life, she acted in line ofwhat is expected of her.. to be baddin's sister.. She has been needing a break...a break from baddin in particular..something we could not afford to ...a chance to spread her wings....n i think this pre school is what she needs exactly...
Our sending hatice to school experience did not end there...Later of course we were given a tour of the pre school area...the rooms etc. We were given a briefing by her class teacher..shown to the rooms available for the pre school students etc etc etc etc.... There r project room (for creative projects like making cookies..etc..etc), play room (with toys inside since every child needs to play), imagination room (where they watch entertainment ie drama, pantomine etc), 2 toilets (one for girls n one for boys) n 3 classrooms..with one classroom consisting of 16 students. Hatice's class is called *arı sınıfı* (bee class) -9 girls n 8 boys-n from what we were told every subject is taught by different teachers.. .. ie computer class, english class, art class, etc etc.. there is also a playground in the gargen n a decent garden area for picnics on sunny days.. There r even individual lockers-a big locker to keep hatice's things (extra clothing, coat, wet tissues, etcetc)..n a small locker for keeping sport shoes.. everything is complete....
I notice one thing though.. everybody in the school..i mean everybody has a handphone.. maybe this is a school policy for the staffs.. i mean.. if there is any problem with hatice's studies etc, i can contact the class teacher anytime i want..parents n teachers exchange phone numbers..even the school service (school van) chauffeur.. if for example we wanted to pick hatice from school ourselves, we can always call the school service chauffer to let him or her know that hatice should not go home by the school service... hmmm... technology huh? in this sense, it does make life much easier...n less worries.And one good thing about the school service is that an asistant (normally a lady) will help ur child down the vehicle, cross the road n even press the bell to the apt...u wont need to worry that ur child will be run down by a car while crossing the street..
Talk about handphone is not available for sms for a while..halil's hp died on us once again.. n i had volunteered my hp to till i get his hp fixed or buy him a new hp number is not available... until further notice...pls note..
Everything was well today.. before going home we went to the upper level of the school building to buy stuffs like books n stationaries that the school has prescribed for the usage of pre school students this year..we had the shock of our lives when the price of everything was like... 290YTL (1 US dollar = 1.53 YTL)...n we need to buy an english book as well later (31YTL) since it is out of stock.. ..pokai pokai... tak pa la..asalkan hatice bahagia.. dah sekolah swasta..biasa la semua mahal gilaaaaaaaaaaaa....sabar je la kan? Tahun depan lagi parah sebab badin pun masuk pre school n hatice akan masuk darjah satu..kena save la dari sekarang yek?
So starting this monday..hatice will board the school service in front of our apt at 7.42am n will reach home around 5pm. If i am not mistaken, pre lunch, lunch n tea will be provided by the school.
When i first saw the price of the yearly school fee, i was shocked because 1st grade students' fee (darjah satu) is the same as pre school students' fee. Now i see why..the cost is enormous... one teacher for one subject..etc..etc..Hatice loves the school. She finds everything there new n interesting.She is fascinated by it.... I think she will be able to adapt to her new surrounding pretty quickly knowing how self reliant she is...she is *abla* (sister).. she has been a sister of baddin for as long as she can remember..helping me in so many ways than possible (remember how she actually helped me to prepare köfte n tuna sandvich for her baba???)...knowing how she has been all these years.. with Allah's permission, her adaptation period will be quick..
my worry is for baddin next year.. being the youngest, he is fault perhaps..he is not as self reliant as his sister....with less self confidence..but then, i have one more year to train him before his pre school entry..insyaAllah i will be able to make him as self reliant as possible...
Anyway... this is hatice's first day experience in school.. She came back from school using the school service..her cousin keremcan who lives across our door is also using the same service..his presence somehow gave hatice courage to board the school service..(servis te yine onun başı tuttu yahuu)
All's Well Ends Well..Alhamdulllah....For this mother whose child is going to school for the first time.. this is indeed a big day for me....n next year baddin will join her sister in school.. what will i do with myelf alone till 5pm everyday?? I cant imagine the boredom!!
And for my dear sweet çiçeğim...22th September 2006 is a date to remember....Her first day of attending Özel Yaşar Cimilli Ilkögretim daughter..a pre school (anaokulu student).....Please Pray for her..

Sunday those in Malaysian n Turkiye will be having our first day of the month of the holy ramadhan...i would like to convey our regards n our outmost salam from this Zaim family to all our families n friends real or in cyber..whichever countries they may be in...

Hayırlı Ramazan Mubarek Olsun..
Selamat Menyambut Bulan Ramadhan yg Mulia

Let us together live the spirit of this holy month with a lot of ibadah... amin...
p.s.. i am having a difficult time embedding the slide show n adding photos of hatice's first day at school..i am wondering id u r facing the same problem as i? this is driving me crazyyyyyyyyyy

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Seputih salji

The year...1999...
The season? ...winter...
Snow in istanbul? Yeah... a bit here n there..
The weather cold enough for the snow not to melt?
Oh... what to do?

Anne n baba were staying in Sapanca at that time. Their usual companion at that time? Of course..Kerim!! Located uphill.. the sapanca house is in a season of its own. It snowed..n the snow stayed as snow..
Anne loved snow..she love,d to play with snow. But at that time, she held herself from going out to the garden to touch the snow...Instead she picked up the phone and said:
*Halil..gel..simaha buraya götur*
(Halil..come...bring simah here)
She waited for us to go there...for me to touch the enjoy myself with the snow n only then she joined us...
U see.. it was my first snow ever..i had never been to a snowy place up till then.. And thanks to anne..i got to experience the beauty of my first snow in sapanca..
Guess what i did with the snow...??
I had forgotten this myself..but halil told me that.. i took the snow.. filled a glass with snow.. and pour coca cola on top of it!!! Definitely original huh??? heheheheheheh

My first snow fight

Kerim busy with his snowman

Us busy posing with kerim n his mini snowman

Anne, simah n kerim

Please forgive this *jakun* simah hehehe
my first can i forget? I had been dreaming of playing with snow..of course..that was not possible if u live in malaysia.. unless the man made snow..which cant compare with the real snow...

I will be off again this wednesday morning for a week.. To izhal..
Selamat Pulang ke Tanah Air.
. and the rest of my muslim friends..
Selamat Menyambut Bulan Yg Mulia...

Sunday, September 10, 2006

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Dearest Tem..

7 Years

..Not too bad, eh?..

At times we wanted to kill each other..

But then

we decided that




U know my heart as much as I do Urs

Thank You for these 7 adventurous years

Seni Seviyorum

Friday, September 08, 2006

That night not so easy to forget..

Hatice: Anne, sen uyu..ben sana bakarım
(Anne, u go to sleep..i will look after u)
Like a mother tending to her child, she kissed n spoke to me softly..

I could do nothing..The end result of carrying baddin for 2 days while we walked n spent time with halil...humungous..muscle pain..

I took minoset (something like panadol)..a mild pain reliever... It should be enough for me since even the mildest of medicine affects me very quickly. It didnt. ..Stupid me.... on top of that..i took tylolhot pediatric.. another medicine.. it shouldnt be strong coz it is meant for kids but minoset n tylolhot ..2 in one left me...drowsy... i was drugged.. whatever sound that the kids made came to my ears as if i was in a different land.. when halil called, i spoke to him ..yet.. not knowing what i spoke...i must have sounded terrible..he was worried of me..he kept calling me every hour..secrectly from where he was... not caring if his komutant caught him using the phone..

i cant remember the exact time... i was drowsy..i think perhaps 2.30am??.. both baddin n hatice were awake...still awake at that time.. after 2 days of outing..walkin.. n they were not tired n sleepy?? The normal simah would have found this very weird..she would even scold the kids. But that drowsy simah could only give *evet (yes)* as an answer to questions posed...

At one time.. i was still drowsy..hatice n baddin still awake... hatice told me...
*Anne.. banyodan ses var..bak sana*
(Anne.. there is a sound from the bathroom..go n look)

At first i just said evet..drowsily..then i heard the sound too...with great effort..i headed to the bathroom..before i could enter the bathroom.. a man my height came out from the bathroom...

That jerked me up from my drowsiness totally. In his hands, there was this one very sharp n shiny knife..(like the 1st knife in the picture but much bigger)

Both hatice n baddin who were sitting on the bed started to cry..

The man: Para ver (give money)
He was pointing the knife at me....

i sensed a bit of panic when he saw the kids were crying..

Me: Param yok. Kocamdan ister
(I have no money. U ask from my husband)

I replied..Glaring at him..trying to be fierce as possible so that he wont focus his attention on my kids.

The man: Kocan nerede?
(Where is ur husband?)
The man asked in a village accent turkish.

Me: Kocam askerde. Çık buradan. Param yok.
(My husband is in the military. Get out of here. I have no money)

I opened the door for him to get out Face still very stern n fierce.The kids were crying still. The guy saw my handphone at the charger n asked for the phone.

I knew that if i didnt give him something, he would not leave the room. I immediately gave him the handphone... n showed him to the door. That bloody man started to roam my butt....the kids still crying...

I turned to face him...glared at him..with a face of volcanic anger..i told him..

*sen beni elemezsın. Tek kocam beni ellebilir... çık buradan!*
(U cannot touch me. Only my husband can touch me. Get out of here)

And with that he left the room.

I quickly dressed up..bundled the kids up... knocked the room across us where my sister yana was staying..The kids still crying...went down to the reception downstairs to report of the intrusion.. my kids still calling for anne...n went back to yana's room...locked the room n told my sister of what had happened.

It turned out that my sister had this feeling that something bad was going to happen... she couldnt sleep. She was awake n heard my conversation with the bloody man after i opened the door...she was scared n did not open her door to see why...The kids had that feelings too... that was why they didnt sleep that night...Police came after that..but since nothing was stolen except for my one was physically injured, n we were to return to istanbul in the morning, i told the police to let the case rest....i just wanted to go home..

Halil tried to call me from his training camp.. ..he was worried .. he couldnt reach me. The man must have turned off my stolen handphone. Halil was panicked when he could not reach me... later from his roomate, he got the number of the place we were staying. He got thru me... he was shocked to hear of what had happened. Not really believing that none of us were hurt. .....Thruout that ordeal... not once i showed to the bloody man or the police or to my kids n my little sister that i was scared..i kept cool.. i was their pillar.I had to be brave n strong for them. But hearing the voice of concern from this one pillar of my life as he frantically begged me to tell him what had happened..... for the first time after that man left..i cried my heart's out to my hayatım....wishing he was there to hug me....

We slept at yana's room till morning....Yana couldnt sleep at all...there she was watching me n the kids sleep (from mental exhaustion)..... n in her one hand... a spray..just in case...We left very early the next day... ..

Yes..that is one experience during that one last time we went to visit halil in izmir (850km from istanbul) while he was doing his compulsory military service. Alhamdulillah, 2 weeks after that he returned to istanbul for the rest of his military service...n Alhamdulillah that one is also over...

When i was facing the man... my only thoughts were of my kids. How shall i protect them..?? Can u imagine... a man suddenly appearred out of ur bathroom??? I was stupid perhaps to become so stern with the man...i dunno...the man himself must have been an amateur to accept or to believe that i had no panic to see the kids cried..the things above happened exactly as i had written above...All i can say is.... Allah bize korudu (Allah had protected us)..there is no other explanation for that easy escape from that man... he could have done anything but he didnt.. we were as to speak..

The window of the bathroom was unclosed.. that was my fault.. i was in pain then.. i could not remember to close the window....but then the open window should not have been evident at all since there is the shutter...the man had climbed up there ..used the knife to make a hole ..big enough to fit him thru the shutter..wide enough for him to break in..

Can u image if something had happened? i was the one in charge. ..hatice n baddin.. if anything had happened to them....i shall never forgive myself...and somehow i am thankful that the man did not enter my sister's room opposite us. Can u imagine what would have happened?? She was alone in the room.. not knowing turkish... furthermore...she is easily scared.. bla bla bla.. imagine a guy with a knife entering her room... that was my room that man entered..n my sister was very terribly affected....i shudder to think... apa mau jawab sama mak kalau adik kesayanganku tu jadi apa apa??

Hatice n baddin? That incident i think have affected them psychologically to a great extent... they were scared most of the times esp after that night...Today, they r better..but nowadays... hatice is very sensitive to sounds especially while she is trying to sleep..any sound will increase her fear.. i think she still remembers that night though she doesnt say it much.. baddin? his is lesser but he is definitely afraid of the dark....that incident does disturb them to some extent..i really hope this will time..

I? I am no coward but after that day.. Whenever halil is away for the this weekend...sleeping alone at night is something difficult to hatice..i am sensitive to any sound that disturbs the quietness of night...a drop of water....footsteps...any sound.. when i sleep alone (if i sleep at all)... i tend to wake up scared though i know not what i dream...

It is different to have a man around.. u trust him to protect u... Now my man is not at home..i need to overcome this fear..sooner or later.... i know i will..time will tell..

Thursday, September 07, 2006

A McDonald's love story...

This was sent to my email addy.. i think we all need a laugh :0)

A little ol! d couple walked slowly into a McDonald's one cold winter evening.

They looked out of place amid the young families and young couples eating there that night.Some of the customers looked admiringly at them You could tell what the admirers were thinking:

"Look, there is a couple who has been through a lot together, probably for 60 years or more!"The little old man walked up to the cash register, placed his order with no hesitation and then paid for their meal.The couple took a table near the back wall and started taking food off of the tray. There was one hamburger, one order of french fries and one drink.The little old man unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half. He placed one half in front of his wife.Then he carefully counted out the french fries, divided them in two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.He took a sip of the drink, and then his wife took a sip as the man began to eat his few bites.Again, you could tell what people around the old couple were saying. - "They were used to sharing everything." Then the crowd noticed that the little old lady still hadn't eaten a thing.She just sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally sipped some of the drink.A young man came over and begged them to let him buy them another meal.The lady explained that no, they were used to sharing.As the little old man finished eating and was wiping his face neatly with a napkin, the young man could stand it no longer and asked again.After being politely refused again, he finally asked the little old lady, "Ma'am, why aren't you eating. You said that you share everything.What is it that you are waiting for?"She answered,

Hayırlı Kandiller... salam nifsu syaaban semua !

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

The answer is...

Congratulations to Sue, İzhal n Sherin for the correct answer.. here r ur gifts..

visual jer... hehehehe .. ..

just pretend that they r real :0) ...kalau nak real gifts... mintak la kat mama rock..kot kot la dia nak sponsor hadiah ...... kan kan kann mama??

We always have this talk as to who follows who.... hatice is quite evident..her skin colour..bla bla bla resemble me more... baddin on the other hand is not so obvious..frankly speaking..i personally feel that he is more like my side of the family..his facial feature i mean.. but the Zaim family thinks he looks like their family.... doesnt matter right? who resembles is normal for a child to be a carbon copy of a parent..or a child to be having a mixture feature of both parents.. does it matter? But as parents... u cant help but to want ur child to have certain of ur good features, right? And it is only natural that some DNA transfer will occur...

When i look at hatice n baddin for some moments i see each of them resembling someone... their looks... their smiles..the way they talk..the way they act...the way the move...they r soooo like this n that........ i mean come on..even if u do not have a child.. u urself r a child.. a child to ur parents...u r definitely similar to them one way or another, right..??

..the looks..the physical kids for example..i see them as individuals unique to themselves...whoever they resemble is not an issue.. what is important is that they r the fruits of love...the love between 2 people who become soulmates......whom they call anne n baba...n those two people love them matter what....I just want them to be happy n healthy

tapi biasa la kan...kat mana nak tumpah kuah tu kalau tak ke nasik kan? The evident? The pictures of those two babies... father n son..the resemblence is soooo obvious... halil's nose does look a bit flat as a baby huh? no wonder some of u thinks that picture one is me....

The bad news of the discovery of these two pictures is... now i cant claim that baddin looks like my side of the family..coz their baby pics r very alike..aiseyman!! mana aci..u bet halil was n is happy to see the proof that he n his son r alike as babies....he let me buy myself something from tekbir today* chuckles*....

The conclusion of this entry is...

this baby

Got married to this baby. Together they are given the two most precious gems of all..

This one baby daughter

And this one baby boy..

InsyaAllah..till death do us part...they will live as one happy family..Please pray that we do :0)

P.s - i didnt plan to reveal my own one n only baby picture but hatice got jelous seeing baddin n halil's baby pictures that she insisted that i add in hers n mine as well.. kızım..bu senin için yaptım..bak çiçeğim bak..

p.s 2. mama sarah n amar.. i have been trying to send a comment to ur blog for the last 2 days..but everytime the same responce will appear.. *ur request cannot be processed*...but i have no problem publishing my comments in someone else's it only me or everyone else is having the same problem with ur blog?

Please do compare..

Picture one

Picture two
I was browsing thru the old photos when i saw these two pictures..My question is... do they look the same or at least share some familiar features? Can u guess who these two babies r?

Monday, September 04, 2006

My story today

He entered our home..hugged hatice, said hi to baddin..looked at me and said

*i talked to the rektör and he said i can start my new job officially early october instead of today (4th September)*


Yeah.. that was n is exactly what i felt/feel…..happy beyond words. I had almost given up on that place....and this news is …..:0)... he is starting his new job in october…n middle next month i think he will resign officially from his present post…so ..we would be free to spend at least a week in Edremit!!! My favourite place … his fav place… the kids’ fav place…for our summer holiday!!! Yeahhhhhhh……

The only sad thing about this trip is…news reached my ears.. baba said he is not coming with us this year….he said he is tired…*oh baba..why??* Edremit without u is not Edremit….. i am already used to the idea that holiday means u..,halil, the kids n i…despite feeling so happy about going to edremit....i feel sad inside that baba is not coming.. ..i hope baba will change his mind.. the date of departure? The devre (duration for our stay) will start on the 12th of september….but i suppose we will only go after keremcan’s n ekrem’s sunnet duğun (some sort of makan makan celebrating keremcan n Ekrem kena sunat).. so after the duğun… cabutttttt…eh posa bila start exactly yea?

Another story..

Halil was on the way home from the uni..he stopped at our meat shop (kasap). He asked for minced meat (kıyma)..the guy said. İn turkish.

*in the afternoon ur wife had already bought kıyma (minced meat) u already have it at home*

Halil said ok…*in that case let me buy normal chunk meat*

The seller then said
* yenge (referring to me) already bought chunk meat as well*

In the end, Halil left the shop without buying anything… Have u met a seller who wont sell his product to the husband only because the wife bought the minced meat n chunk meat earlier on during the day?? I think this is what we call..people with pure hearts…
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