What did ı do???

2 days ago, I promised Halil's auntie (yenge) that ı will cook her apple pie and pogaca (see Zaim Ladies Recipe Book) since she is expecting around 12 guests today. She is after all not so young anymore.. .it is normal that I offered to cook something at least..though she refused to let me cook other things for her...

YEsterday after Fenerbahce...I felt so exhausted.. It must be the fresh air... or the fact that I had not been out in the open like this for ages with halil n kids.. Last night, I thought I would prepare the apple pie first.I did... I baked 2 apple pies..one for us and one for yenge. Ours was just from the leftover dough anyway... out of the oven..both apple pie with the delightful aroma of the apples....I transfered the apple pie to another plate...and then..........opsssss.........by accident I cracked the pic into two....BYE BYE Apple pie....!!! Waaaaaaaaa I wanted to cry then...I couldnt give her the other apple pic coz it was small..meaning... I had to make another one!!

I put the kids to sleep. Already extremely exhausted from the outing...went to the kitchen..and prepared the pie dough again..something was wrong!! It did not fold into shape easily. It cracked everywhere...the dough I mean...(Can dough crack???it did!!) I modified...added more butter..which made it worsT..no development..it still cracked....I gave up.. I was in no mood to think...threw the dough into the bin...tidied up the kitchen and drank my iced coke and went to sleep...

Woke up this morning..again, I tried..the same thing again!! Angry at myself coz i do make a fairly good apple pie...but since last night..WHAT THE Hell is WRONG with me!!!??? dough...rubbish bin again!! (Pls forgive me Allah for such a waste!).. I managed to calm down for a while...looked at the recipe book again...The secret is revealed... I forGOT to add in WATER!!'! It said there...bir fincan su (one small turkish coffee cup of water)..That was why the dough wont hold the structure...the magic of H2O..*hitting my head...argh stupid stupid simah*

Ok...that settled..apple pie in the oven and cooking... now time for poğaca...First I prepared the dough for the meat filling... no problem there.. Then, time to prepare the second dough for the white cheese filling.. I realised....no more yogurt left!!..it was 8am..the shops were closed. But I needed to prepare this before the kids woke up.. The obvious choice was of course ozlem...her kids are always awake at that time... knock knock...I asked for one glass of yogurt from ozlem...she had just a bit...I took all..I had no choice...I was desperate...Cooked the pogaca..all settled.....gave the kids their breakfast...came to the pc to calm down a bit and ...

*ding dong*..mistik (baba's house helper) came......he came for something...bla bla bla..bla..bla bla bla....I erupted my volcanic temper...It was none of his fault...but added to my already unstable emotion...he took the full blow of my temper.. ..I am lucky coz he knows me well enough not to be offended...offered him turkish coffee as the usual (my peace offering as well)....calmed down a bit..apologised to him..by the time he left the house, I was at least smiling again..

It is only 11am now...and i am exhausted mentally and physically..I am not complaining about having to cook for yenge...ı would do more if she lets me.. ıt is an honour for me that she trusts me enough to cook something for her...

The house is in a mess...the kids need my attention... I need to do some errands...at least the pogaca and apple pie are ready...

my iced coke with slices of fresh lemon is what i need right now...I asked cemal abi (the apartment caretaker) to buy me the coke..we have coke in the house...but since halil n i r on diet since yesterday, he bought light coke. It tastes terrible...diet or no diet...i will go for my normal fattening, hazardous coca cola...i deserve one after all these stress...

ı need a hug too..that i will get from my kids...baddin is too skinny to hug..(that never stop me from hugging him too much of course) but hatice is just huggable...

What had happened was simply because I went against the few rules of cooking (at least for myself). Cooking is my theraphy...my joy...but..

1. Never cook when I am exhausted
2. Never cook when I am panicked
3. Never cook when I am in no mood to cook

coz it aint worth cooking when i am in those moods.. Nothing will turn out right!!
endure me my friends.. endure my babblings..I am after all...a simple housewife...