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"Home is Where the Heart is"

All my growing up years, I always thought I understood what it meant...But I didnt really...not until the year 2000.. That was when I really start to understand the meaning of it.

It was 7 months after I got married ...7 months after I have relocated my life in istanbul. A young bride I was..still slim (not fat and ugly like i am now) and was experiencing my new life in a nervous way....deep down terribly missing my life in Malaysia ..my mom, my dad, my siblings...the food..everything!! I mean who wouldnt?? I had lived all my life in Malaysia. That life runs thru my veins like a shadow..

It was in Sapanca when Ozer abi called us to tell that he heard that there was a promotian for cheap flights to Malaysia by the Malaysian Airlines System. I got excited. But I knew Halil and I could not afford the price...But he said, *ok*..We will try to find a seat. He said he wouldnt
be able to come with me since he had classes..he could not take a leave in the middle of the term..And I said ok..

I was devastated when I was told that there was no seat left. It was an awfully cheap priced ticket flight that all seats were booked.We put my name under the waiting list...You cant imagine how many prayers I had made to Allah or how many yassin I had read to calm down the turmoil I felt.. The longing I had to see my family.. But no news...sad and somehow deflated...I accepted the fate and tried not to think much of my home in Malaysia..

Until one day...we recieved a call from the travel agency that somebody cancelled a seat and YES!! I could go home!! I had 2 weeks to pack. I told my family of the news..that I would be going home for 21 days...alone..

Yes.. I was home. Yes. I was experiencing life with my family again..chatting with my siblings....eating my favourite food..all of those...the complete set..Yet, something was missing. Halil was missing. I missed him like hell. We talked on the phone everyday. I would call him and he I. It was like our courting days again. One missing the other terribly. Maybe we were a newly wed young couple..maybe that was the reason of this missing each other... or so I thought..

But 4 years ago, when I went to Malaysia the second time with my kids..(halil stayed behind since he was trying to complete his Ph.D thesis) for two and a half months... the same thing happened. We were missing each other crazy... perhaps even more....I could not stop smiling when he joined us in Malaysia. That was when the joy of life..the joy of staying in Malaysia with my family was complete

It was then I understood what that one phrase means..Home is actually where the HEART is...Yes, before I embraced a life as a wife, my heart was with my family....Dont get me wrong... My heart is Still with my family in Malaysia..I miss them terribly still...this longing to see them..be with them ....will never change.. But the focus is changed now...at least the load of it...

My heaven is now under my hubby's feet (Syurga di bawah tapak kaki suami)..and together with that responsibility....that is where I place my heart...in the loving embrace of my husband and children...

I understand now that Home is not defined by the geograpy ..it is not the talk of which country is better to live in or which country not nice to live in..nor does home mean that u must be showered by all the comfort and glitters of life...you dont need a bling... It is the talk of the heart....the heart defines the home... and MY heart belongs to him...and when i am with him...when he looks at me with the look that says.."I love You"...YES..I AM HOME...