What a daY!!

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

What a daY!!

The last time i was this scared was on the day in Umraniye Carrefour. I was holding Hatice, far too deep in thoughts and the next thing i knew hatice was no longer holding my hand. I was lucky hatice has my skin and looks. The guy who found her, left her at the *missing and found* office, saw me and told me ..nope..showed me where she was. I was and am forever eternally grateful to him.

What happened today was simple really. We were in Sapanca.Halil had an attack of great pain in the morning. It decreased after some time. Halil then drove himself (with me tagging along-we left the kids with baba and mistik) to the government policinic in sapanca. Bad service! We decided to go to a private policlinic instead. The doctor diagnosed something and suggested that we go to Adapazari hospital for some tests. In great pain, halil drove to the hospital-emergency entrance. The doctor checked on him, told him to have blood and urine tests together with an X-ray. Wonderful service..all three tests were completed within half an hour. At that time, the pain receeded significantly. Halil was almost back to normal. The result; halil kum veya tas varmis (batu karang). He should see a urology.Halil drove us back to sapanca house. We packed our things and headed straight to istanbul (his pain was almost gone then) where mehves and the rest of the siblings are -ready made chauffers hehehe

I dunno what is worst. The look of agony in halil's face as he suffered the intense pain in his tummy. Or is it the helplessness I felt as I saw him drove the car while holding his stomach and enduring the pain. I would have gladly changed place with him. To be the one in pain. I would have gladly drove the car for him. But my fear and years of not driving behind the wheels set me back that the man in pain had to drive. I was there and yet I was helpless to do anything. It didnt help that only that morning before the pain started, we had the conversation about anne's last day in Sapanca. There it was, in front of my eyes, an almost similar event was happening. Was I wrong to fear the worst? I put a brave face but the turmoil inside was threatening to burst out; the turmoil which I choose to put in a written form instead.

We are back at home. The kids are asleep. Halil is not very comfortable. He is still awake as to speak. And I am here. Time to go back to my man. He has a doctor's appointment tomorrow
morning. We'll see what the doctor says....